Saturday, January 5, 2008

I thought you were my Fairytale..

It was the most hurtful yet pleasant experience at partyworld since... Worked a long 12 hours b4 finally relaxing and then heading there...

George and Her came around 10 for dinner and such... Well when I saw her... I was all smiles naturally... Like a little boy in a candy shop...

Whenever I see her smile... I can't help asking myself... Can I do everything to get that smile for me? Will I do anything to get her?

Before continuing on my experience at partyworld, I shall answer some questions Tracy Da jie sent me...

1. What do you like about her?

Ans: Her smile and her cheerful attitude ^^

2. Will you give it your everything once again?

Ans: I always give my best... I will not procrastinate this comment but... I can't be the best out there... But I know I will give my very best and everything that I can give... =)

3. Will you give up anything and everything just for her to be happy?

Ans: Even if it means my heart and soul =)

4. Can you do for her like what you did for See Yueh?

Ans: No... I'll definitely do better than that!! ^^

5. What have you done for her?

Ans: I help her at times during work eventhou its busy... I cook for her... knowing she skips meals... I have not done much truly but sadly... Theres so much I would like to do for her... So much so much... But I can't do it... Cos im afraid it would scare her off... Every small things I would love to do for her... Always set me through a process of thinking... Would this scare her off? Will she like it? Does it benefit her? Will she be happy?... Thus putting stress on me... But for the sake of happiness... I'm willing to do anything and everything ^^

6. Have you considered a worst case scenario where she's still ignorant abt what you can do for her and her future and reject your goodwill?

Ans: If she doesn't give me a chance to prove I'm worthy... Theres nothing I can do about it... It doesn't matter how good my impression that people have of me... If she doesn't notice it... It's useless...

7. Have you even started to know her as a friend?

Ans: I'm trying to know her AS a friend... I mean... How can we be lovers when we can't be friends... But she has this distance from me... It always makes me wanna cry... Wanna breakdown and ask God why?... I mean maybe its the stupid ideas I take from my colleagues... Their pushing... Their teasing... It isn't doing me any good... In fact it's scaring her off... Sometimes I just sms her... hopefully she will reply me soon... Waiting... Waiting... Even most of the times... No replies... I don't want to be too persistent... T.T

8. So what's happening between you and See Yueh? Have you gotten over it? Make it clear now......

Ans: The 2 year promise between me and See Yueh... Is definitely now not waiting for her to get back to me... Its a cooldown period... That she will change for the better... I do not want her back anymore... Its pointless... I've changed... She's changed... Love is selfish... It's true... She used the worst possible treatment on me just so that she can go her own way... I will not do anything close to that... I must be faithful... Loyal... Hopeful... if my partner cant change for me... I'll change for my partner...

9. Are you thinking of any girls as Plan B and C if this fails?

Ans: Definitely not... I'm giving my heart and soul into getting to know her more... Those people who know me well... I'm a one-man-one-girl kinda guy... What I would like to say is like one of dido's songs... If you won't let me fall for you, Then you won't see the best that... I would love to do for you... Instead... You will pay missing me... When I'm gone... Cos I'm bored of hanging out... In your cold...

10. With so many people supporting you, You can't be wrong ya?

Ans: If there's so many people supporting me... I'm not ashame to admit that I must be a good guy... But even with the support of so many people... And she doesn't realise it herself... There's no point with the support of so many people ya? So with this last question... I will say... This is a test of patience... Til the day she realises I'm a good husband... =)

Issit enough to love
Issit enough to breathe
Somebody ripped my heart out
And leave me here to bleed

CRUCIFIED at 11:31 PM

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Saturday, January 5, 2008