Friday, January 11, 2008

Are you really helping? Brother?

These few days has been the worst and best days of my life... =)
I'm starting to see the true color of someone who claims to be my brother and is helping me out =)

Lets start with the happy stuff ^^

I gave Sam a bday card, inside are my heartfelt wishes and feelings ^^
Its just to make everything clear...
Well she accepted it quite positively so yay!!! hahaha... I'm a happy Sam becos of that =)
Having sleepless nights the past few days... Was searching for Westlife songs and Mtvs to give Sam as a bday present... And racking my brains on what other things to include in the cute CD I bought hahaha...

Hmm... Bonnie is quite a nice person... She mentors me alot at cartel... Be it work or personal life ^^ It was during working time when she dragged me out of cartel to double check the bday card I was going to give to Sam and even went shopping with me for the cute one-of-a-kind CD... Seriously I can't thank her enough... And she told me something frankly... She said that I'm a very very nice guy, its sad that SHE doesn't realise it... The sacrifices you did for her... But its ok... Take your time... Time will tell =) With that... I slowly trotted down the escalator... Oink ^^... not with smiles... but with tears flowing down my cheeks...

Ok now for my special little girl, Leanne!!! Hmm... Shes the one closest to me in cartel and I'm the one closest to her in cartel for the moment ^^ Was chatting with her in msn a few days back... She really made my day =) So this was how it went... =)

Sam: but i figured out something when i talked to u

Sam: if i want to love someone... i cannot expect the person to love me back or want anything back in return and if i cannot do it... i might myself dun even start entertaining those thoughts

Leanne: tsk. then i'll wish you my best la. Soon, SHE will feel for you.. like the way you feel for her.

Leanne: at least you look at things on the bright side.

Sam: lets just say I've been thru the darkest and worst and loneliest of what life can throw at me, its a test of patience and time

Sam: I need your most frank opinion of me...

Leanne: haha, you a good guy

Leanne: you're willing to sacrifice so much.

Leanne: i guess i find you different from other guys.

Seriously... I don't doubt my ability to sacrifice that much or even be sacrificed for that sole reason... But the journey's gonna be long and painful... I've decided to start sacrificing... For that reason of just to love her...

But come to think of it again... Loving her means Loving myself... Many ppl love another person just becos they want the person to be together with them... Is it possible to love a person without expecting any returns? Well... I will try my very best ba...

OK!!!!!!

Now... For the well... bad part... Lately... a "brother" of mine in cartel... In front of everyone... He told me saying that he was gonna help me out... With her... Cos we're brothers... I trusted him... OMG!!! how stupid can I get? Trusting a guy to get a girl =.= Well my instincts prove me right...

Early this morning... at cine's Kbox... Me, Him and Her were starting the singing session... I was starting to suspect something... even at the beginning of the Year 2008... He was acting very close to Her... Snatching for duets... Sitting comfortably and close beside Her... And even at times... Placing his arms behind her... Thou not touching her... But YA! He is the "brother" that I trust Her with... T.T When singing those chinese love songs... He would act all emotional and look at her face... even at times in her eyes... Yep... This is the "brother" who gave me his words... So SHE was the plan B after being rejected by another girl...

I'm human too... Am i not? I have feelings... YES! I feel jealous!! and for that whole toturing 5 hours... There's nth I can do but to fake smiles... Well... If that's the kind of guy she rather go for... I can do nth but wait to catch her when she falls... Well when seeing both of them so close... and that "brother" being so "romantic" in front of me without limitations... or sparing a thought of how I feel, I just couldn't help it but slowly spend the night tearing away...

Yes... This is the Mike and Nick's story... Brothers who fell because of a girl... one who betrayed the other for that sole cause...

Well theres nothing I can do... but to get hurt like this for a long long time I guess... I chose this path... This path of sacrificing so that she will notice it one day... The 1st few days of 2008... Its dark and gloomy... Many nights of crying and emo-ing awaits me... Bless me plz...

Well this is a dedication to the cartel peeps who support me...

Thank you!!!

George for being a mentor and a brother to help me out...

Bonnie for even sparing time to chat with me and teach me new stuff and mentoring me about HER...

Erwin for his life stories to help me out...

Kelvin for helping me out...

Amelia Thong for also giving me advices...

Amelia Tan for being part a sister when I needed support...

Hua Jie for keeping a lookout for HER and me...

Li Jing for also keeping a lookout for HER and me...

Leanne for being such a darling and make my working life at cartel enjoyable...

Vanessa for really really giving me advices and helping me out on her....

David and his point of views on her...

Nick and his ever lasting teasing and joking and of cos supportive of me...

Cessna for helping out at times...

William for even bothering to lend a listening ear...

Wai Hong for giving advices even thou he is not usually friendly and those kinds who would give advices XD...

Alai for even telling me what to do at times...

Aloyson for being the astro boy at cartel and bringing her laughter...

Liang hao for being such a brother...

Genma and Lester for even giving me the basic support and blessing me...

Henry for giving his "useless" support and advices...

Jolene for really consulting me on what to do and such...

and many more...

If only does she realises...

Well I'll stop for now... Have to go to work ^^

I lay my love on you
Its all I wanna do
Everytime I breathe
I feel brand new

CRUCIFIED at 8:44 PM

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Friday, January 11, 2008